One of the most important lessons I've learned in my life is that growth often lives on the other side of what I call the mountain of discomfort.
Most of us know exactly what we need to do. Have the conversation. Set the boundary. Ask for help. Deal with the grief. Face the disappointment. Stop the habit. Start the thing.
But somewhere along the way, it gets uncomfortable. And that's where most of us turn around.
As men, we rarely struggle because we're incapable. We struggle because we're unwilling to sit in the discomfort of our own reality.
We're taught to win. Push harder. Work more. Stay positive. Find the solution. Keep moving forward.
And those traits can take you a long way. Until they don't.
Eventually there comes a point where effort alone stops working, and the things you've been avoiding show up and bite you in the ass.
You can build the career. Grow the business. Hit the goals. Get the girl. Train harder. Stay busy. And still feel stuck.
Society continues to tell us the story that success and growth only come from climbing higher or winning more. Sometimes growth comes from slowing down, looking inward, and sitting with the things we've spent years trying to avoid.
For me, real change only happened when I decided to face the shit I'd been carrying around for years. I wrote about it. Meditated on it. Talked about it.
And it was bloody uncomfortable. Fighting against sadness, anger, frustration, fear.
But on the other side of that discomfort was freedom, and an opportunity to create change. The opportunity to become the man I wanted to be, and am still working on becoming.
What happens is we get halfway up the mountain of discomfort and turn around. Anyone who has stood on a Colorado ridgeline with their lungs burning knows the feeling. It gets too hard. It gets messy and it starts to feel very real and scary. It feels easier to go back to old habits and old behaviors.
But if you keep going over that mountain, there's so much goodness on the other side.
It's just like training in the gym. You don't bench press for a week and expect to be jacked. You need courage, curiosity and consistency.
The same applies to personal growth. Stop saying you're going to do something and never following through. Do it. Then do it again. And again. And again. Until it becomes who you are and what you do.
You don't become stronger by avoiding the hard parts. You become stronger by walking straight through them. And over the mountain.
If you're someone that's dealing with feeling stuck, or keep falling back down that mountain, reach out. I'd love to chat.